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+--- Thread: The Bird (/showthread.php?tid=4185)
The Bird - leowester - 03-30-2013
I look out cold and lonely window
It becomes darker day by day
The window beckons me to slip away
I look at the window for signs of light
But days fade away and slip tonight
I’m all alone and chase for a distance echo
One day I woke up to find a bird at my window
For the first time ever my window was opened
The bird walked in and glistened
I saw everything in that bird
I would chase it no matter how absurd
I had everything I ever wanted
But it’s not what I had
It is everything that I doubted
I look back and realize that I never saw the light
Even though the bird came in and shone bright
The bird is now gone
I never saw what I really had
I realize that I had been a moron
That was the day that I shattered my window
I wish that I spent more time at that window
I always looked for the light outside
Even though the light didn’t glow on the inside
I wish I could have spent more time with the bird
If I would have listened to the echoes unheard
I would be with my bird in the enshrined meadow
Please tell me what you think
Don't be an asshole
RE: The Bird - tristo999 - 03-30-2013
I am surprised there is no boobs
RE: The Bird - iDieForEXP - 03-30-2013
This is pretty good. I like it.
A few suggestions:
Nothing big, but I think auto correct or something screwed up a few words at the beggining. Also, I'm not a great poet, but the difference in syllables of ryhming lines sounded choppy. Could be that you were going for that though.
This a school assignment?