Applications-(krisamos)

[krisamos]

General[/i] [/u]

Minecraft Username: krisamos
Previous RP experiences: none
Have you played on any other servers? Why did you leave?: I have not!
What feature of Kiwike are you most interested in?: The wars in the third age, definitely
How did you hear about Kiwike: A friend told me about it

Character Info

Character Name: Kris Amos
Spawn Location (Khulu Desert, Orraku Fields, Icenfjord, Aridian Jungle): Aridian Jungle
Gender: Male
Age: 20-30

General Background Information:Kris Amos is a strong knight who comes from a dangerous land where monsters are everywhere and he had to fight them all off finally he got off the land and came across kiwike. before he came across kiwike he was traviling through water, rain, and snow. he made many fires and shelters through out the world. now he is living peacefully in kiwike with all of his new friends.


Physical Condition/Description (what do they look like, what do they wear, all physical elements of a character):Kris Amos looks like a regular knight, he wears chain armor and some red cloths

What is your character's main objective? What do they wish to gain out of this experience of living?:
My characters father lefted Kris Amos in the middle of the wilderness with a sword, armor, and a bow n arrow . He wishes that he can reunite with his father so they can fight beside eachother.
Picture of your minecraft skin:

[chaz03088]

Uh, what? All you added was that he was accepted, and lived peacefully. You just added one more sentence on what was already there. That's not more story, that's just slapping on one little thing that really doesn't say anything more about your character.

Edit: He changed it to the shelters and fires thing. I still go by what I say, that is not adding any more story, that's just slapping on another short sentence that doesn't add anything to the story whatsoever.

[Saera]

I'd have to agree with Chaz.

[spenboy]

You gotta add more to the story, think of it this way,
If you are lacking in taste wit your main course, don't try to cover it up with a small side dish, the main meal will still be crappy, and the customer will be wondering why the heck you fed them it when it wasn't good

Try more stuff about the nation he was from,

Also, why exactly did his dad jut abandon him in the woods?

[Saera]

Dayum you people beating me to it.

[aloha]

My friend is having technical difficulties with the forum so here is his background story.
Kris Amos is a knight that was left by his father in the jungle with only a sword, armor, and a bow and arrow. His father had left him in the jungle to strengthen his skills, because he knew that if he was left alone he would become stronger. was soon attacked by spiders and zombies. He barely fought off the monsters at night. He decided to to go into a cave not to far from the jungle to practice his fighting skills. After he got better he decided to explore the land that is called Kiwike. After exploring for a couple of weeks he came upon a town. Kris was asked to join the town, to join in the cause to fight off the monsters, and help them fight in wars.

---

General[/i] [/u]

Minecraft Username: krisamos
Previous RP experiences: none
Have you played on any other servers? Why did you leave?: I have not!
What feature of Kiwike are you most interested in?: The wars in the third age, definitely
How did you hear about Kiwike: A friend told me about it

Character Info

Character Name: Kris Amos
Spawn Location (Khulu Desert, Orraku Fields, Icenfjord, Aridian Jungle): Aridian Jungle
Gender: Male
Age: 20-30

General Background Information: Kris Amos is a knight that was left by his father in the jungle with only a sword, armor, and a bow and arrow. His father had left him in the jungle to strengthen his skills, because he knew that if he was left alone he would become stronger. was soon attacked by spiders and zombies. He barely fought off the monsters at night. He decided to to go into a cave not to far from the jungle to practice his fighting skills. After he got better he decided to explore the land that is called Kiwike. After exploring for a couple of weeks he came upon a town. Kris was asked to join the town, to join in the cause to fight off the monsters, and help them fight in wars.


Physical Condition/Description (what do they look like, what do they wear, all physical elements of a character):Kris Amos looks like a regular knight, he wears chain armor and some red cloths

What is your character's main objective? What do they wish to gain out of this experience of living?:
My characters father lefted Kris Amos in the middle of the wilderness with a sword, armor, and a bow n arrow . He wishes that he can reunite with his father so they can fight beside eachother.
Picture of your minecraft skin:

[chaz03088]

Well, it sounds better, but story-wise it doesn't really add much more.

[Mystia_lorlei]

Errr....Aye Chaz makes a good point, The story seems....a bit cut and dry..... This character almost feels like a padding for a nations army.... Cardboard stiff and one sided~ Try flushing the character out more, morality likes dislikes, History that doesn't involve parents being killing in an unoriginal way <3

[sethd13]

Seems just like a "*logs in* /msg cheesyaloha what are the coords? *gets them, comes over and joins the town*

[Saera]

Better than players imaginarily joining towns