I personally think that is a far fetched definition of grief. In terms of RP, almost any raid on villages or settlements included the burning of fields and slaughter of livestock (and rape of women but I don't think bowser is always online for every raid

).
If this were not an RP server, of course this could be seen as griefing - but RP/multiplayer raids will always undoubtably have consequences. RP is a valid reason, contrary to your argument.
If anything, this counterargument should also stand to let players steal food from farms - without some grouchy, ill-meaning player being able to call grief on three pieces of wheat missing from their farm.
I do not see how this is the same as destroying a building that took hours to build, or in any way worse.